Nick Kiddle ([info]ksej) wrote,
@ 2008-08-04 23:04:00
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Hate crime
Angie Zapata was a young woman trying to live her life as best she could. She was murdered by a man she'd been seeing when he discovered she had a penis.

It ought to go without saying that beating someone's head in just because you discover something you don't like about them is utterly, unacceptably wrong. Apparently it doesn't. Legal analysts are already speculating that the killer will try for a charge of manslaughter on the grounds that he "reacted irrationally and unlawfully to learning [he] had been fooled". He just flipped out so badly that he couldn't stop himself smashing Angie's head in with a fire extinguisher, hitting her until he thought she was dead and then, when he discovered she was still alive, hitting her again. That really doesn't sound like the heat of the moment to me.

And then the discussion starts about what Angie did to bring it upon herself. She should have told him. What did she expect, having sex with a straight man? They do flip out shockingly often, after all.

It's true that there are far too many people in the world who don't think trans people are human - the killer apparently referred to Angie as "it" - or think they have a right to take their issues out on us in any way that appeals to them. And sometimes the idea of barricading ourselves in a fortress far away from any of them sounds pretty appealing, but it isn't going to work. We have to live in the same world as these people, and the only way to manage that is to keep putting the word out that no, treating us like that is not acceptable. You can harbour whatever nasty thoughts you like in the recesses of your mind, but you will treat us like human beings.

As for the idea that not having sex with straight men would somehow prevent tragedies like this, I'm not buying it. Remember, when the killer found out that Angie was still alive, he didn't have a horrific realisation of what he'd done, he just figured he hadn't finished what he was trying to do. When someone is capable of that much hate, they could object to anything. Looking at them in a way they don't like. Being attractive. Existing.

And I don't know if I will ever fathom in what reality this wasn't a hate crime.

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[info]beamtetrode
2008-08-05 06:35 pm UTC (link)
There is never any reason or excuse for violence or murder.
If some element of your lifestyle is likely to inpact on a relationship, surely it makes sence to come clean as early as possible in that relationship and avert later problems.

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[info]ksej
2008-08-05 08:47 pm UTC (link)
Being trans isn't exactly a "lifestyle", and "come clean" implies deception. I agree that pre-emptive disclosure might be a workable defensive tactic for individuals, but it won't always work, and the real solution is for cis people to stop assuming and/or stop overreacting when their assumptions turn out to be wrong.

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[info]beamtetrode
2008-08-06 10:05 am UTC (link)
"come clean" implies deception.

I believe that most people would feel deceived if what was suggested by the outward appearance wasn't coincident with what they subsequently found "under the clothing".
Most cis people are nowhere near ready to be left to "discover for themselves" the things in a relationship that many would consider abnormal.

I'm familiar with a number of LGBT venues and find the clientelle perfectly normal but then.... am I "normal"? Probably not.

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[info]lisaquestions
2008-08-06 11:11 am UTC (link)
This is quibbling: Doesn't matter. Andrade felt entitled to sexually assault Angie Zapata by grabbing for her crotch, and when he found something he actually did expect (hence the grabbing), he hit her in the head with a fire extinguisher. When she started to move again and he realized she wasn't dead, he hit her again.

When cis people think it's okay to react to this situation with deadly force, it doesn't matter what their feelings may be about the situation. Those feelings don't deserve to be centered.

Also: In the two years after I transitioned (and I will confirm I hadn't had surgery yet) I dated six men. I never told any of them on the first date, and only told them after it looked like it would go for more than a few dates. Not one hit me, shot me, stabbed me, attacked me with any kind of implement. One said "I'm sorry, but I can't do this" and we remained friends.

The people who kill, who shoot, who stab, who bash women's heads out for not conforming to their expectations? They're the exception. They're not the norm. Defining their reactions as the normal? No way.

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[info]ksej
2008-08-06 11:24 am UTC (link)
But people can feel deceived for all sorts of reasons where neutral observers would say there's no deception involved. I felt deceived when Luis told me he cared about me, planned a future together and then decided he couldn't handle what I was finding out about myself, but no-one ever suggests that he should have said "I want to marry you and start a family, but only if you're not transsexual."

And using the language of normal/abnormal kind of rubs me the wrong way. I know you're saying that cissexual is considered to be the default and transsexual is other, but that's part of the problem in itself. You're kind of sitting at the low end of the continuum that ends with something like Angie Zapata's murder.

Also what Lisa said.

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[info]un-cool.co.uk
2008-08-06 12:10 pm UTC (link)
I agree with what Lisa said.
"Andrade felt entitled to sexually assault Angie Zapata by grabbing for her crotch"
- From the off he didn't treat her with the respect afforded to any human being. "Entitlement" is the perfect word - he didn't ask her about it, he just went storming in there - I mean ffs the lass was 18 - I'm sorry but that's dead young, that's not just 'young'. He should have been especially careful with her when talking about it knowing how young and likely inexperienced she was. He was in his 30s? He should have the self-control to put aside any "shock" he might have felt and talked to her. Grabbing her like that was violent and humiliating. And then to hit her with the fire extinguisher - that's not 'shock' - shock is shouting at her, storming out, slamming doors (which would have been bad enough in my mind). Hitting her, trying to kill her was hatred. No way was it manslaughter, especially as he did hit her once more when she was coming round. It was hatred through and through. And I'm sorry, but finding out she was a transwoman is simply not that shocking. Surprising maybe, not shocking.
And I agree with Lisa here too - "When cis people think it's okay to react to this situation with deadly force, it doesn't matter what their feelings may be about the situation. Those feelings don't deserve to be centered."

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